Three Myths of Love

I.
Have all your equipment and ingredients needed to flambé your dish ready before starting the process. Use an 80-proof (40% alcohol by volume) liquor for flambing. Liquors above 120-proof are highly flammable and considered dangerous when lit. Liquors that are of a lower proof run the risk of not igniting when held to the flame. Choose liquors that are complimentary to the food being cooked, such as fruit flavored brandies for fruits and desserts, and whiskey or cognac for meats. The food you are going to flambé must be warmed first, as cold food will cool down the hot liquor and it will not ignite. Heat the brandy or liquor in a saucepan, with high sides, just until bubbles begin to form around the edges (around 130º F or 54º C) before adding to the flambé pan (you will be able to see vapors rise from the liquid). Do not bring the liquor to a boil, as the liquor will burn off the alcohol, and it will not ignite. The boiling point of alcohol is 175º F (much lower than water). The liquor can also be heated in a microwave oven by heating 30 to 45 seconds in a microwave-proof dish at 100% power. Use a flambé pan, large skillet, or large chafing dish with rounded, deep sides and a long handle. If you are planning to flambé in front of your guests, light the dish at the table, but far away from guests and flammable objects. If you have a serving cart, now is the time to use it. Never pour liquor from a bottle into a pan that is near an open flame. The flame can follow the stream of alcohol into the bottle and cause it to explode. Always remove the pan with the hot liquor from the heat source before adding the liquor to avoid burning yourself. If the dish doesn't light, it's probably not hot enough. Once you add the liquor to the pan, do not delay lighting. You don't want the food to absorb the raw alcohol and retain a harsh flavor. Ignite with a long match (such as fireplace matches or a long barbecue lighter). Always ignite the fumes at the edge of the pan and not the liquid itself. Never lean over the dish or pan as you light the fumes. Let cook until flame disappears (at this point all alcohol has burned off). If you want to retain some of the alcohol flavor, cover flaming dish to extinguish flames or add additional wine or stock. Serve the dish as soon as the flames disappear. If you want the flames, but do not want the liquor in a dessert, soak sugar cubes in a flavored extract. Place the cubes around the perimeter of the dish and light. Also be sure to practice flambing before your guests come as you want to make sure that these steps are performed flawlessly, if you want to impress your guests.

II.
Cut about four bacon slices into small pieces. Put it into the pot and put the pot onto medium heat. While the bacon is cooking, chop up one-half onion. After the bacon has cooked thoroughly remove it and save it for later. Place the onion into the same pot the bacon cooked in, allowing the bacon and onion flavors to mix. While the onion is cooking, cut into eights about eight medium-sized potatoes. When the onion has cooked to the point that it is clear, add the potatoes to the pot and add enough water to submerge all of the potatoes, as well as a good amount of salt for flavor. Cook until the potatoes are soft enough to easily pierce with a fork, then mash with a mixer. While mashing, add one pint cream and the bacon. Serve warm with bread for dipping. When eating leftovers, be sure to heat up!

III.
In a bowl, combine peanuts, cashews, almonds, raisins and chocolate chips. Pour contents into a plastic bag. Shake and enjoy.